Sanjeev Himachali - Learning from Life and Experiences

Managing Senior Level Employees

Managing senior and experienced employees – the real wealth of your organization is not an easy task for any business leader or head of the organization. And if not managed properly, efficiently and cleverly, this will not only be costly but also slow down the growth pace of an organization and will affect the reputation and brand of the organization in the industry. We have all seen so many examples to this effect.

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From my experience, I am of the opinion that your senior and experienced employees (those with more than 10 years of experience) are not looking for more industry experiences or technical expertise…they have already gained that. They are also not looking for very huge salary hikes…but something to match with their experience and expertise. At the stage where these senior people are, they look for:

1.       Challenges such as challenges associated with mergers, amalgamations;  acquisitions, take-over’s, and etc

2.       Increase in market-share, increase in revenue, venturing into new market, introducing new product line and consolidating the market position excites them

3.       Creating something new (new company, new market, new product or service line) or initiating /executing changes are few other things that excites them.

4.       Involvement in strategic decision making process and power, along with accountability and responsibility, to manage day-to-day functionality and operations of their department or SBU or profit/cost center is other factor that these senior managers look for. They do not want to be spoon-fed and certainly don’t like to be micro-managed.  

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Concluding remarks

From the above discussion, it is clear that there is no thumb-rule or a fixed process for managing senior level employees. The trick is to get right mix and identify right person for the right role and with required skills-sets both technical and soft. Just like marriages, if you don’t get it right, you may regret for the rest of your life. But, unlike marriages, in professional relations you do not get life-time to amend, rectify or adjust in relation. Clarity of thoughts is very important. At the same time, business leaders must understand that college pass-outs or young graduate freshers need companies and most often brand names  to  get experience and industry exposure but with experienced employees, that is not the case. Companies, if they are not training facilitators, needs experienced managers to consolidate their position in market.  Not only matured and large scale companies but also start-up companies’ need experienced managers to take them through that phase.

Good business leaders and great organizations are identified by their ability to use their resources to the optimum level and keep engaging their senior managers all the time. They know the value and importance of their most crucial and delicate assets, Human Resources and also they are smart and clever enough to utilize these resources in an optimum manner.

I hope this discussion will be of use to other expatriates and those who are looking forward to move to another country. Kindly give your comments and share your views.

Regards,

Sanjeev Himachali  

Emails: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com; ss_himachali@yahoo.com

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Working for Long-Hours: Professional Demand or Personal Habit?

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Working for long-hours and staying in the office for long-hours are two different things but it seems that not many people / professionals are able to differentiate this. Few years ago, one of my ex-bosses told me that working for long hours can be interpreted in two ways and unfortunately both the interpretations are harmful for the business as well as individuals involved. The two interpretations are:

1)      People are over-worked. That means, resources are limited and work is more. Continuation of this situation for a prolonged period of time will lead to excessive stress, strain, other diseases and injuries and ultimately will affect the performance of an individual.

2)      People are not over-worked but they are spending more time at workplace because of the following:

a.        Lack of effective time management skills

b.      Dependencies on those who lack time management skills

c.       Cultural issues (such as, overlap between personal and professional life; culture of not leaving the office before seniors/bosses; impressing the boss by being around)

This shows the inefficiency of management in utilizing its resources professionally and constructively. Such practices at work-place also affect the organizational culture.

Potential time-wasting events at workplaces are:

1. Prolonged lunch-breaks and other breaks, such as coffee-break, smoke-break etc.
2. Time spent on unwanted meetings. Meetings are not properly controlled and are not limited to the subject of discussion or agenda of meeting (more often meetings are conducted without any agenda). 
3. Time spent on personal phone-calls and internet browsing for pleasure.

In many cases and for many employees, net working hours per day is less than seven hours a day.

Your total working hours is the difference between the time when you leave your home for office and the time when you return from your office and park the car in your garage. Gross working hours is the total time that you spend in office premises (this will be not be applicable for sales people and those who are engaged in field work). From your gross time, if you subtract the time spent on lunch breaks, coffee-breaks, smoke-breaks, internet browsing for personal pleasure or personal use, time spent on personal phone-calls and non-work related meetings that will give you the net working hours of an employee. It doesn’t matter what is your total or gross working hours are but your net-working day will rarely exceed 10 hours a day.

These are generalized views and cannot be applied uniformly across the globe and in all industries and professions.  One will not hear noises of long-working hours in those professions where compensation is paid at piece-rate or on hourly basis.

I hope this discussion will be of use for its readers and will also help in maintaining appropriate work-life balance. Kindly give your comments and share your views.

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Regards,

Sanjeev Himachali

www.sanjeevhimachali.com

Workplace Bullying and Its Impact on Organizational Culture

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While there is no single formal definition of workplace bullying, several researchers have endeavored to define it.

Noa Davenport, Ruth Distler-Schwartz and Gail Pursell-Elliot identify “mobbing” as a particular type of bullying that is not as apparent as most, defining it as "…an emotional assault. It begins when an individual becomes the target of disrespectful and harmful behavior. Through innuendo, rumors, and public discrediting, a hostile environment is created in which one individual gathers others to willingly, or unwillingly, participate in continuous malevolent actions to force a person out of the workplace."

Gary and Ruth Namie define workplace bullying as "repeated, health-harming mistreatment, verbal abuse, or conduct which is threatening, humiliating, intimidating, or sabotage that interferes with work or some combination of the three."

Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik expands this definition, stating that workplace bullying is "persistent verbal and nonverbal aggression at work that includes personal attacks, social ostracism, and a multitude of other painful messages and hostile interactions."

According to Tracy , Lutgen-Sandvik, and Alberts, researchers associated with the Project for Wellness and Work-Life, workplace bullying is most often "a combination of tactics in which numerous types of hostile communication and behavior are used".

Therefore, bullying is persistent unwelcome behavior, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance.

Facts and Figures

Each year as many as 18.9 million working days are lost to bullying and up to a half of all stress-related illnesses are a direct result of bullying. The estimated cost to the UK economy is c£3.7bn annually, up from £2bn in 2000.

More than 90 per cent of workers surveyed by the Andrea Adams Trust say they are being bullied. A survey of 10,000 employees by the charity found that 92 per cent felt they were currently being bullied. Almost half (49 per cent) said their immediate manager was the bully.

A November 2008 report, “Bullying at work 2008” by Woodman & Kumar for the Chartered Management Institute indicated:  

1. 70 per cent of managers have witnessed instances of bullying in the past 3 years
2. Incidents are not just ‘top down’: 63 per cent of respondents observing bullying between peers and 30 per cent witnessing subordinates bullying their manager
3. 42 per cent of manager’s report having been bullied themselves
4. Of those experiencing bullying; more than 1 in 3 (38 per cent) reported that no action was taken by their organization.

Statistics from the 2007 WBI-Zogby survey show that 13% of U.S. employees are currently bullied, 24% have been bullied in the past and 12% witness workplace bullying. Nearly half of all American workers (49%) have been affected by workplace bullying, either being a target themselves or having witnessed abusive behavior against a co-worker.

In 2008, Dr. Judy Fisher-Blando wrote a doctoral research dissertation on Aggressive Behavior: Workplace Bullying and Its Effect on Job Satisfaction and Productivity. The scientific study determined that almost 75% of employees surveyed had been affected by workplace bullying, whether as a target or a witness.

Conclusion

The first step to keep your company bully-free is to be attentive in the interview process. Resist the temptation to hire a hotshot when it’s obvious he or she is a jerk. Check references carefully to root out past instances of bullying. Pay attention to how your candidate interacts with administrative assistants and lower-level employees, and encourage those employees to report rude or disrespectful behavior.

The natural human tendency to hire people like oneself becomes dangerous when bullies are in charge of hiring. To narrow the margin for this kind of error, appoint a panel for selection process. Each candidate should be interviewed by people who will work above, below, and alongside him or her.

I hope that the information in this article will be of use for its reader and will also help in identifying and managing bullies at workplace and create a fear free work culture. Kindly give your comments and share your views.  

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Composed and Compiled by: Sanjeev Himachali

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Resources, Tools and Methodologies for Talent Acquisition, Hiring and Recruitment

Introduction

One needs to have dreams, plans, and strategies to be successful in any venture. This is a basic requirement. If you do not know what you want, where you want to reach and how you want to reach (your mode and plan for success), you certainly cannot reach there. In case you are starting a new venture or you are planning to diversify your existing business, you also need to identify the source for your capital (Financial Backing). You cannot do all these things on your own. You need "extra-ordinarily talented" and Highly Skilled people to help you to reach the goal that you have seen for your organization. For this, you need a jeweler (the talented, matured and exceptionally skilled HR Professional) to identify such DIAMONDS for you. It is one of the key roles of a HR Professional to identify, source, select, HIRE and RETAIN BEST of the talent from the market to work for the organization. If they cannot find talented people from the market then they need to groom the right type of people with the right type of attitude and aptitude. In 21st Century, we are in the era of "war for talent". It is becoming difficult to get right type of people and retain them. Many companies are losing their businesses because they are not able to hire "right type of people"; because they compromised with the "quality of the talent". In this article, we will try to explore and understand different sources to get "Best of the Talents". Any reference of HR Department" in this article, means Team of Talent Acquisition, Hiring and Recruitment.

Different Sources to Get Talented People

As a HR Professional (Chief Talent Acquisition Officer; Hiring Manager or Recruitment Head), one should be aware of all the sources and resources to get best of the talents and they should also be aware of as how to use those resources to the optimum level. You can use either or all of the below mentioned tools to get BEST talents.

1) Existing and "Active" Candidates Data with Company
This is primary, but if properly used, most important source and tool in the hands of HR Department to get right type of people. The HR department gets N number of profiles every day from different sources (including candidates who just drop-in their profiles at the reception. The HR Department needs to maintain and update this data on regular (if possible on daily basis). The details and data should be maintained in such a manner that one should be able to generate a MIS, stating number of profiles in the database, skills of the candidates (including education and experience level) and status of each profile (if short listed or not; if interviewed or not; date of interview; result of the interview; if rejected or selected etc). All these profiles should be considered as "active profiles" for six months from the date they were received in the HR Department of the Company. Any other profile older than six months should be deleted and destroyed. Such profiles are of no use to the company. The HR department should be able to use this data to fill the existing vacant position with a MOST suitable profile.

2) Employee References
In last decade and a-half, all the companies across various industries are facing a BIG challenge to retain the talent in their companies. People are resigning for various reasons. There is another challenge of FAKE profiles (People are faking about their experiences, salaries etc. Many people are just COPYING someone's profile and presenting it as their own, without even knowing what they have mentioned in it). To handle this, it has become apparent to do reference checks. Getting the reference check done in a proper way is very costly.

Considering the above two scenarios and just to counter it, it is important to hire a person through the reference of your existing employee. No one can present, market and brand your company, market the culture and policies of your company then a happy and highly motivated and engaged employee of your organization. Hence, hiring with the reference of your existing employees is an important source and tool to hire and retain Quality Talent.

3) Internal Advertisement (internal Job Posting)
Learning is a continuous process. Many people keep on learning new skills, updating their skills and acquiring higher degrees by way of distance mode of education. There by you might have "multi-skilled" and "multi-talented" people within your organization. Hence, it becomes crucial and important to post your job-requirement, internally for your existing employees. By doing so, you will be able to RETAIN good and talented people.

4) Jobsites and Job Portals
If the above three sources and methods are used appropriately, efficiently and to the optimum level, hypothetically you do not need to go outside the company to get good people, working for your company. However, that is actually not possible and hence, you also need to look for external sources to get MORE Suitable Talent for your company. There are many Job Sites and Job Portals, available in the market and you need to select the BEST one for your needs. Good Job Portals have huge database of millions and millions of profiles. You can source a "Suitable" Talent from that database. You can also post your job requirements on job-portals just to get more relevant profiles. You should learn how to use all the features of your job-portal for its optimum utilization.

You can also have the HR or Job Site of your company and post your requirements on that site. This will also give appropriate branding and advertisement to your company and will also help you in managing the "Candidate Database".

5) Campus hiring
In case, you like to hire "knowledgeable, talented and properly groomed" freshers then you should opt for Campus Hiring. This will give you Raw Clay and Material that you can mould as per the need and culture of your organization. You need to plan your "Campus Hiring" in a suitable manner to target right type of people. You need to decide, if you like to hire a plain graduate or a graduate with some specific trainings or Management Graduates or Engineering Graduates etc. If you provide right type of atmosphere, culture and processes, chances are that you will be able to retain these freshers, trainees for a long period of time. There are many Business Magazines which publishes lists of BEST institutes in different categories, locally, nationally and internationally.

6) Recruitment Consultancies
Most of the time, even recruitment consultancies also uses various job-portals to source talent for their clients. Hence, it makes more sense, if you buy one login on any of the relevant job-portal (or more than one job portal) and if you learn how to use it properly. You need the help of Recruitment Consultants if you are planning to hire a talent through head-hunting for senior profiles and from different geographical locations; for example, if you are planning to hire someone from international market. Hence, taking the help of Recruitment Consultants to hire talent for you should not be your first choice or option.

7) External (Newspaper) Advertisement
This is one of the VERY costly source to hire talent. External Job-Advertisement on media (Newspaper, Television, Radio etc), helps you in Branding and Publicizing your company but if not targeted properly and managed properly, this is one of the POOR but COSTLY source to get suitable talent. You need to understand and plan properly, what type of people you are looking for, from where you can get those people, which newspaper do they read, how you want to get and manage these profiles and what you will be doing with that database or else, you will not be able to get suitable talent.

8) Social and Professional Networks & Local Communities
There are few professional and social networks, such as LinkedIn, FaceBook, Orkut etc, that you can use to get right type of talent (of the listed networks, LinkedIn is highly recommended). You can also target few NGO's, Training Institutes and Local Communities to hire low-level, low-cost workers for factories and your companies.

9) Head Hunting (Also called as "Body Shopping")
There is this bread or group of talent, which are highly experienced, competent with great leadership skills but very passive in job market. They are very experienced in their domain and industry. Sometimes, they are also the founder member of the organization. Generally these are the people working in the capacity of Senior Managers, General Managers, CFO's, CTO's, CEO's, Vice-Presidents, Directors, and Managing Directors etc in their present roles. They do not post their profiles on jobsites. They do not even read job-sections of newspapers. They do not apply for any jobs opportunity. Only very few of their friends and close associates are in procession of their profiles. They need to be challenged by an opportunity. Such people need to be head-hunted. Generally, recruitment consultancies are EXPECTED to do this job. This is a way to get the talent when you are looking for rare and distinct talent that is when you are looking to fill positions like CFO, CEO etc. Here, numbers are not important but quality is. In a year, you might be able to head-hunt 15-20 people but they will be of high worth and value. Not everyone can be a "Head Hunter", you need to have "special" type of skills to be a "Head Hunter". Every type of sourcing is not called as head-hunting. For a sourcing to be called as "Head-hunting", this should involve "rare profiles"; profiles and skill sets not readily available in the market.

10) Talent-Poaching
This, according to some section in the industry, is considered as unethical mode of sourcing and hiring. For this, you need to understand the business of your company and also should be aware of the competitor companies in your industry. Just target those companies and hire in masses from those companies right from the entry level to senior level. This tactic is usually used to kill the competition. This is like a big fish eating the small fish. People across the globe are discussing and debating to ascertain, if the "Talent Poaching" is ethical or unethical. No doubt, this is one of the easiest ways to source trained and talented people within the industry when you have infrastructure and money.

Distinction between Headhunting and Talent Poaching
Some talent acquisition managers as well as hiring and recruitment professionals are confused and are not able to discriminate between the two. Here are few differences between the two:
1) Headhunting is associated with senior and rare profiles. Talent Poaching is just sweeping and running through talent-wealth of your competitor.
2) Headhunting is planned. Talent Poaching is targeted.
3) In headhunting, the intention is to get the BEST person for your organization but in Talent Poaching, the intention is to kill your competitor and the competition.
4) Headhunting is about getting a person with "Leadership" skills with "Global Exposure". Talent Poaching is about "saving the training cost".

Conclusion
This article is not about "Recruitment Process" or to describe about "Steps involved in Recruitment Process" but just to share the resources and channels to source and identify talent. I have taken care to list all the possible channels. I am sure all the readers will gain from this article.

Do share your feedback and give your comments.
With love and care

Sanjeev Himachali

BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/ and http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/

E-mail: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com; ss_himachali@yahoo.com

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Marriage Proposal - Will You Marry Me?

Introduction

Life, in itself is a big process of change management. We grow from Infancy to Childhood to adolescent to being adult. On relations front, we have parents. We have relatives. We get in touch with many people; interact with some people and then we make few friends, some as Professional Friends and few as Social Friends but there is one and only one (these days, I can use the term "few") person in our life to whom we promise our life-long commitment. We want to spend rest of our life with this person. Before making such commitment, we want to be double sure of ourselves. We consult all our friends and relatives before making such commitment. Those are the decisions that we like to take once and only once in our life and we don’t want to regret those decisions in the later stage of our life. If we take a wrong decision or make a wrong choice, it haunts us for the rest of our life.

So, what are the parameters or factors that one considers or keeps in mind before accepting the proposal of marriage? What goes in their mind when someone proposes them? How do they prepare themselves before proposing someone?

Some Common Parameters and Factors

Being a friend with someone of opposite gender is one thing. One can also go for dating. But, marrying someone and making a life-long commitment is altogether a different thing. Males and females have different criteria and parameters which they consider and keep in mind while accepting the marriage proposal. Then, those parameters are in different order of priority and differ from male-to-male and female-to-female. I spoke to a few people across India to find out what parameters they consider before making a life long commitment to someone? Hence, these parameters reflect Indian Culture and thinking pattern of Indian People, particularly Indian Youths.

Parameters for Males

Males consider following parameters before making a life long commitment to a female.

1. Looks, features and other physical attributes

2. Respect for his parents and relatives

3. Character and Values of girl

4. Social – Status of the family

5. Financial Status of the family

6. Past of the girl

7. Education

8. Emotional Stability

9. Must be willing to take-up household responsibilities

10. Should support him in all situations and circumstances

11. Considering the present economic scenario...she is expected to be a professional

(Order of Preference may vary from Male-to-Male)

We discussed this with many people and tried to know and understand their views and thoughts on this. Some of the responses from Males are as follows:

1) Raphael Gilbert (Consultant at Modis International): From my experience, commitment from a woman depends upon her age.

1) Under 25 - Commitment is based purely on looks. They fall in love easily but frankly are only interested in having fun/short term commitments that "in general" lead nowhere.

2) Over 25 - Once a woman has had enough 'fun' they gradually begin to realize that they want children - a family etc, and frankly the guys they considered fun are in no way a good role-model. They begin to change their priorities from looks... to salary package/stability/career prospects and secondly (and this is generally a must) a sense of humor (as if they can't have the looks they want a guy who can at least make them laugh!). It's a sad but true fact - but they settle for us guys thinking (Well he may not be Tom Hanks but at least I'll have a good life/cash/a nice family and I wont be alone).

This sadly, is true for I’d say 80% of women. I am quite lucky and have found the girl of my dreams who VERY luckily for me doesn't fall into this category, however, I challenge any woman to tell me I'm wrong!

(I'm going to get slaughtered for writing this).

Men on the other hand....

We're shallow bastards - If we can't walk down the street being proud of holding hands with our potential partners then frankly they haven't a chance of commitment. We're as shallow as a kid’s paddling pool and at least I'm brave enough to admit it.

Men's priority =

1) Looks

2) Is the sex good

3) Does she make me smile

4) Could I spend the rest of my life with this girl?

5) How much BAGGAGE does she have

If 1 and 2 aren’t yes… a man will never give commitment

2) Andrew Meyer (Owner, Capability Alignment Professionals): I take a bit of a different approach on this. Most of my experience is in the US, but I would think anywhere that both people have equal choice about who they date, these factors would come into play.

The next thing to point out is that there's what people say they look for and then there's what people respond to. Dating is not an intellectual exercise. I don't think there are checklists or much intelligence that goes into the equation. There might be some after-the-fact rationalization, but let's be honest, it's not thinking that's going on.

That said, I'll start with what I'm an expert on, being a man.

1) Is a woman physically attractive to you?

2) Do you sync with her.

3) Women who meet those two criteria will be dropped if they put up a major red flag. Major red flags include - having no female friends; major issues; etc.

From my observation of women:

1) Challenge - how challenging is the guy to get/control. The more challenging the guy, the better

2) How does he make her feel?

There are plenty of things that can cause a relationship to go wrong or never start, but those are the things that trigger the start of a relationship and lead to commitment.

3) Pete Berghold (Unix Professional and Perl Hacker at IBM): My reasons for marrying my wife some 30 years ago are as follows:

She is my best friend. My wife is the one person from who I have no secrets. None. I don't even try to keep secrets because she'd see right through me anyway and figure out I was holding something back. Our personalities mesh. Where she leaves off I pick up and where I leave off she picks up.

This is not to say that we don't ever have our differences. There is no way in Creation that two people are ever going to live with one another without there being something that sets each other off. The difference comes in where how we deal with these differences and at the end of the day we respect each other and care for one another enough that the differences don't make a big deal. When an issue arises where we have a difference we work it out. And we don't let others "help" us work it out either.

We also tend (with minor differences) to have the same values.

After 30 years of being together and we are still crazy about each other we must be doing something right.

4) Phil Johnson, MBL Coach (Master of Business Leadership Coach): My wife Brenda is my best friend.

She is full of love, courage, integrity, optimism, hope and faith. She has always inspired me to be who I am. Neither of us needs the other to be complete - but the world is a gentler, happier place when we are together. I make her laugh and a smile often appears on my face when we are together. Each year since we were married we renew our wedding vows. I ask her if she would be willing to put up with me for another year.

We are blessed to have found each other and we know it. This is especially true this year as Brenda was diagnosed with cancer last spring. Her radiation and chemo treatments have been completed and things look good. We are like two raccoons or blue jays ... mated for life. I could not imagine making this journey with anyone else.

Parameters for Females

Females consider following parameters before making a life long commitment to a female.

1. Security of Present (A guy must be employed; working in a reputed company, at a powerful position and of course with a handsome salary package...the more it is the better it is.)

2. Good Education (Preferably from Good...reputed institute)

3. Security of Future (Must have dreams to chase; goals to achieve. In short, must have potential to become known, famous and popular)

4. Intelligence

5. Wealth

6. Looks and Appearance

<SPAN style="COLOR: #4b4b4b">7. Love and Care for her

8. Character and Values of a Guy

9. Respect for her parents and her relatives

10. Should not look at other girls or even have any thought about them

(Order of Preference may vary from female-to-female)

We discussed this with many people and tried to know and understand their views and thoughts on this. Some of the responses from females are as follows:

1) Dev Deepika (HR Professional At Maersk): Not sure what each individual looks at as expectations of each individual is different. I am enclosing excerpt from a book that I read, which states "Finding and Keeping a Life Partner"...I understand that these have been stated by Dov Heller, M.A.

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Love is the result of a good marriage not the basis.

Give questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart.

Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a menace?

A menace is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc… How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.

2) Sharon Hill (Sales and marketing manager at Suburban Newspapers of America): I look for a man who ISN'T looking for a woman who is willing to take up household responsibilities. YIKES. How old were these guys you were asking? I'll do my half, but ideally I'll pay half of the cost of the person who comes in and does it for us.

Support him in all situations and circumstances? Well, sure if I agree with him but I have a mind of my own. If I have an opposing view I'll act on it.

Yes, he must be employed and employed well - with an entrepreneurial spirit. That's not because I want to secure my future. I'll secure my own future. I just admire creativity, ingenuity and ambition.

A man needs to be witty, creative, articulate, ambitious, self-motivated, positive, loyal, a good listener, adventurous and not threatened by a strong woman. He should be well groomed but doesn't need to be handsome. His education doesn't matter at all. Many entrepreneurs have succeeded in spite of their education - not because of it. I make my own future and my own security. I just look for someone who can make my free time enjoyable.

Oh, and you took about men's thoughts about the "girl." He needs to be supportive of my feminist / equality view point. If he refers to me and other adult females as a girl I'm out of there.

3) Sheilah Etheridge (Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant): For me, I look at the following

A. Has a strong character,

B. How does he deal with life's issues?

C. Does he grab life by the horns and make the best of it

D. Do we have a deep connection?

E. Is this someone I can wake up to everyday for the rest of my life and still smile.

F. Whether he is honest,

G. Is this someone I can openly share all aspects of life with

H. Can he handle my directness (many can't)

I. Is he respectful

J. Can we talk about everything and agree to disagree

K. Do we compliment each other

L. When we are 90 and the sex is less frequent will there be other things we enjoy sharing

M. Do we enjoy doing "nothing" together - this is more important than you think

N. Can I trust him with my heart and my life

4) Laura Bell Greeno (Business Development Professional): From a 37 year-old Christian (female) perspective, I would not make a life commitment to a man who didn't know God. A man's love for God has become the most attractive thing to me.

Without similar goals, beliefs, and life objectives...I think it would be more difficult to stay together for a lifetime (although not impossible by any means).

Knowing that, my potential partner is "like-minded" spiritually. After that, as I look at your thoughts around women's preferences, I would have to say they would be prioritized quite differently for me (USA female).

I. Intelligence

II. Sense of humor (not listed above)

III. Job (although I disagree with your thoughts around position/power/salary...not that important for me...more important would be respect from peers...that he is good at what he does)

IV. Looks and appearance (clean is good)

V. Love of God (respect/values/character/love/wealth all comes with this)

The security of future...you describe as potential, ambition...and popularity, fame, et cetera. Framed in that sense, those are of little concern to me.

Conclusion

Someone told me, one should not get married just because your friends are getting married or your parents want to you get married. For them, your marriage is nothing more than function and an occasion for social get together. So, you should be sure of yourself before getting committed to someone. You must be prepared for your marriage, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Tomorrow, you should not sit and regret your decision, because if that will happen it will have adverse effect on your life. It will affect the pace of your life.

So, take your time before making life-long commitment to someone.

Acknowledgement

I like to say thanks to following people without whom I could not have completed this article.

1. Laura Bell Greeno (Business Development Professional

2. Sheilah Etheridge (Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant)

3. Sharon Hill (Sales and marketing manager at Suburban Newspapers of America)

4. Dev Deepika (HR Professional At Maersk)

5. Phil Johnson, MBL Coach (Master of Business Leadership Coach)

6. Pete Berghold (Unix Professional and Perl Hacker at IBM)

7. Andrew Meyer (Owner, Capability Alignment Professionals)

8. Raphael Gilbert (Consultant at Modis International)

Kindly share your comments and feedback on this article.

Regards
Sanjeev Himachali
(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/journal/ and http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ )

Career Conflict: Happiness of Your Family and Your Professional Growth

Introduction

Happiness and success in life is all about choices that we make.

One thing is sure that you cannot keep everyone happy and at times you need to choose or prioritize whose happiness is most important to you. It is these decisions which set the pace of your life. It is these decisions which reflect your values and principles.

If you are not happy, you cannot make others happy, howsoever hard you may try. It is like, love yourself and respect yourself to be loved and respected by others.

We all have gone through this dilemma at one or another stage of our life, when we have to choose between the happiness of our family and our professional growth and have to sacrifice one for another. You need both love and support of your family and success and growth in your professional life (in your career). You cannot give your 100% to your family and 0% to your profession and you cannot give 0% to your family and 100% to your profession. It is like Game Theorem, wherein the actual size of market will remain same and loss of one will be gain of another and it is up to the individual to set the balance.

In this article we will learn about that conflict of our life.

Understanding the Family

You cannot have control on your birth. Once you are in this world and grown-up enough to understand, who you are, you start making choices. At that stage you should not bother about anyone except your parents. Once you complete your basic qualification, your schooling, you start making choices and here whatever choice you make or the decision that you take, will have long-lasting effect in your life. Then you choose area of your interest and followed by your decision about the type of career that you want. You choose to get married. You choose to have kids. Now, for you your family consists of your parents, your spouse and your kids. Sometimes, you can have “Conflict of Interest” in these family members as well.

Understanding the need to have profession / career

Love, care, understanding and togetherness, all these are required in life but along with these things, you need many other things in life and for that you need money. You don’t need to be a billionaire or the wealthiest person in the world, but you need fair amount of money / wealth to get the basic necessities of life, which can be as basic as food, shelter and cloths.

1.      You need money to buy a house

2.      You need money to give good education and career to your kids

3.      You need money to take care of the medical needs and healthcare issues of your family

4.      You need “enough” money to take care of you (without being dependent on your kids) after your retirement

And this money needs to be earned.

Apart from financial security, you need professional growth to

1.      Be Respected

2.      Be Recognized

3.      Be Rewarded

4.      Satisfy your ego

5.      Feel the power

6.      Motivate your inner self

To grow professionally, you need the support of your family (mostly your spouse, if you are married) and you need professional growth to take care of your family in a better manner.

Professional Crisis – Relocation (Case Study)

If I get everything at my door-step, I do not need to go anywhere and my life will be so peaceful and satisfying. But, that is not the case. Sometimes, due to professional commitments, you need to move to a different place and that is a real crisis that most of us face in our professional life and it is here that you need the utmost support of your family. Here, there are three situations:

1) You are unmarried.

2) You are married and your spouse is not working.

3) You are married and both of you are working.

4) You are married but do not have kids. Or you have kids but they are less than five years of age.

5) You are married and have grown-up kids.

I asked one question in my training program to understand the thinking process of people. Question was: “You get an opportunity in a different city (might be in a different country), for a salary three-times your present salary and for a designation, which is four levels above your present designation. What will you do? Will you accept the offer?”

There is a clear difference in the thought process of male and female respondents.

87% of females are of the opinion that for them family is important. If they are working, they will not accept such job offer (career advancement) and they expect the similar decision from their male counterparts.

69% of males prefer togetherness with their family over such career advancement.

Here are some of the responses:

1.      Abhinav Sahai (Business Analyst at Ernst & YoungBusiness Analyst at Ernst & YoungBusiness Analyst at Ernst & Young): “Personally, I feel that career is very important in life and one person from a family can make the entire family proud of his actions. As in armed forces, they work dedicatedly and whole-heartedly but still they go back to their families at least once a year. So the family ties are important, but the chance to make an impact on your professional life is also worth a lifetime of an effort”

2.      Nauman Malik (Research & Development Director and Software Consultant): “Simple answer is, if family is supportive and has some good understanding then one can work at any place in the world. It totally depends on the understanding level.

3.      Taruna Rao Madan (Project Manager at Amdocs Dev Ltd): “Its completely matter of priorities; and everyone has their own priority. Priorities differ from time to time; for a person starting the career, profession takes upper seat and as a married person family becomes more important. I also feel that if one side is family emotions / marriage and on the other side is your profession, both sides can complement each other and can restrict each other. It depends on how people involved in it deal with the situation. I guess it happens with nearly everyone and people involved have to choose; sometimes it’s at a smaller scale and sometimes it’s a major decision.

For sure one needs family support to pursue profession or a dream. For that matter one needs family support for almost everything. Sacrifice / moving out of comfort zones - yes is required for all and not just for the person in question”.

4.      Mohsin M (Manager Process & Strategies at YS Consulting): In Such cases and situations one should

a.      Do a cost-benefit analysis...

b.      Match non-quantifiable gains with non-quantifiable losses.

c.      Develop alternatives and see if it is worth...

d.      Discuss and Convince Family

e.      Let the end decision be something which brings happiness for family since it’s directly related to ones happiness.

5.      Joseph Davis (Vice President at Hyperion Resources): “We all make choices in life, but I don't think it is nearly as black and white as your comments. First, starting out in a career, we all make choices. You choose not to be a doctor because you don't like to be around illness. You choose not to be a salesman because you know you are introverted. You choose not to be a farmer because you want to live in the city. You choose not to marry someone because she does/doesn't want a family, etc”.

Personally, I wanted to be an oceanographer, until my first cruise, when I learned that all 3 of my mentors were divorced because of their constant travel. So I adjusted my career path. The important thing is not to get locked-in to one path, either in your own mind, your spouse's mind, or in your boss's/company's mind. Keep your options open and never say "never"

6.      Sophia Dembling (Freelance writer): “I don't disagree at all that work and money are important and work in particular is in many ways emotionally fulfilling. I can't imagine not working. But I also think that to have healthy relationships as well (and this goes for both sides of the relationships), compromise is necessary. That may mean fitting your ambitions to the needs of one's family, if they are saying they feel neglected. Or it may mean that the family needs to up and move to support the breadwinner's career. That's something only husband and wife can work out. But to my mind, all the money in the world could not substitute for time with my husband, or time with a loving father. I would not want to reach old age with lots of money but starved relationships”.

7.      Liesl Leary (Sr. Localization Strategist--Enabler of Multilingual Communications and Solutions): “In the United States, 98% of Fortune 500 CEO's are male. Try to imagine the reasons why this must be. Is it because women are less ambitious than men? Is it because they are less intelligent? Is it because they are lazy? The book "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps" by Sylvia Ann Hewlett discusses the findings of a comprehensive survey done by the Hidden Brain Drain committee. They found that many women specifically choose to take lower level work and avoid promotions so they can balance work and life. What's interesting is that they point out that the age where you're supposed to catch your wave and get on the fast track coincides exactly with women's peak fertility and peak childcare demands. Up until the age of 30, men and women are on the same career path with equal status and pay. Moreover, if you're not derailed by a toddler at 30, you'll be derailed by aging parents at 50--also a responsibility traditionally shouldered by women. Many women choose to simply stay home to deal with the pressure but 97% of women want to come back within 5 years of leaving the workforce. However, getting back is difficult when employers see the "time-out" as a question of dedication and ambition. In this light, it's obvious that marriage and children restrict professional growth if we keep playing with the rules that were established by men at the dawn of industry. However, if the rules were to change, e.g. if non-linear career paths were respected as much as linear career paths, or if flexible hours were not stigmatized, or if working-from home was seen as disaster-preparedness (especially in light of events like 9/11 or in my case, winter) and not as a mommy-privilege, beloved professions may not have to be sacrificed for marriage and family both for men and for women”.

8.      Yvonne Michele Anderson (Independent Film Producer / Internet Entrepreneur / Non-Profit and Media Consultant): “This is a question of priorities, and of personal preferences in respect of individual families. It is difficult to balance work and family, and often the choices which one must make are not ideal. There is no ideal world...one must decide their priorities, and move on from there. One needs money, most certainly, but one should not sacrifice certain things for money. For me, work must be balanced with family, and family is more important, in the end. If I were married and had children, and my husband moved far away for work, I would not be happy with that situation.

9.      Regina Yau: (Associate Director at RUSS Consulting)“Family ties in Asia being as strong as they are, for most Asians it would be contest when choosing between family and career - one should always put family first. At the same time, Asian families being as ambitious as they are as a family unit, most young people are encouraged to leave the family, go abroad and really go for all the opportunities to climb the career ladder. Wives often follow husbands when their husbands move to further their careers. When there is an offer too good to pass up, the whole family moves and the kids just have to roll with it. When one family member attains success, the whole family basks in the reflected glory.

10.  Mohamed Taher (Information Coordinator at Ontario Multifaith Council): “The answer in short is, you need to be married at home (be homely and committed to the partner) and at work (be professional and committed to the passion); you can't be a bachelor at work, or vice versa. That means, you have to have two partners (in your mind you can have a divided personality)--human companionship for 8 hours at home, and business-partnership for 8 hours at @ work; Committed to each individually and wholly.

11.  Anuja Rathi (Language Instructor at anilingual International School of Languages): “I've seen quite a few people turn down wonderful job offers either because their family is not open to the idea of moving, or because they themselves would feel guilty asking their families to pack their bags, relocate and start afresh at a completely unknown place. In spite of the fact that my direct answer to your Q would be "maybe", I'd like to elaborate upon it a bit.

If it is only about the spouse, I don't think the problem is too big, as the spouse can seek an opportunity at the new location. If you have small kids in tow, then finding a good school and other basics also need to be planned out. When all are willing, family does not restrict professional growth.

Changing cities/countries is more difficult when the kids grow up and feel they "belong" to one place and not the other. Hence, the sooner you move, the better it is. Once your family "takes root" at a particular location, its hard to uproot it, as the entire package of emotions and choices have to be dealt with. Most of us wouldn't leave our family, and go off someplace permanently. If its for a short while, then maybe the offer merits a thought.

In the end, it all depends on the individual's priorities, his cognitions, family values and mutual understanding. If all converge, then professional growth need not be restricted, and if they diverge, then subjective opinions and decisions prevail. Hope this helps”.

12.  Sujatha Das (Freelance Consultant): “I would look at it this way: It is our choice to do what we feel like depending on the priority that we give to our relationships. I am sure no one can force us to get married or have kids. It is a personal choice of the individual to do so and hence once they take this decision, they have to also abide to maintain their commitments.

We are committed to our spouse and kids by our own choice we made once, so are we not supposed to keep our commitments. Hence, feeling that personal commitments are coming in way to professional life is not the right thing according to me.

As human beings, when we are unable to take up some of these good opportunities, we feel sad and sometimes brood over it, but again here we are supposed to make the choice”.

13.  Seema Singh (Faculty in Design department at Pearl Academy of Fashion): “More than displacement issues, it is the non-understanding part of your family members about your job demands and your goals in life that create a bigger problem. Also, if your spouse is homely or lets say not so achievement oriented as you, that can be mega-reason for you not being a persona you could otherwise had become. I think for this reason, marriages are dysfunctional in actual life......you only pretend to yourself and the world that it is ok with you. However, you know its not and is never going to be. You just do it for the sake that it does no harm to you than what it had already done”.

My Opinion – I believe that

No war could have been won
No nation would have attained independence and
We would not have heard names like GE, Microsoft, Dell, IBM, Oracle, EDS, Intel, Sun Microsystems et al, had everyone thought the way most of you have expressed themselves. No one can dare to dream and no dream can ever become a reality…if everyone starts thinking in the similar manner.

We need to understand this from the perspective of Armed Forces. They move from one place to another place, after some years, at times with their family and sometimes without family; if they also start thinking in the same manner then who will take care of the boarders of your country. You can have any high-profile career, sports, entertainment etc, most of the time these people stay away from their family to keep their professional commitments.

Yes, you are working for your family and one of the responsibilities that you have on your shoulder is to give them a better career. You can give better career by giving them proper education and I order to get that education (that level), they not only need to be sharp and intelligent but you too should be financially strong to let them get that education. To be financially strong, one must have good profession…one must take good opportunities; one must sacrifice something, you cannot get everything and more so you cannot get “free things”. There is no free-lunch.

You can grow professionally by moving up in your professional ladder and moving out of your comfort zone and by sacrificing some of your happiness and comforts. And to do all this, you need the support of your family. So, to my understanding, spouse and families should support you rather than restricting and/or limiting your growth.

Conclusion

Taking decisions such as relocation, no doubt is a question of setting priorities. Professional Growth and the happiness of your family are very important and you cannot have one at the cost of another but you need to understand the purpose of your living. You also need to consider your happiness. How can you spread happiness, if you yourself are not happy? A bit of compromise here and there and a little bit of adjustment is always required. Make a choice and then move on.

Always, remember you cannot make everyone happy.

Have a great day and take care.

Looking for your comments and feedback

Sanjeev Himachali

(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/journal and http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/)

First Impression is not the Last Impression - Changing your First Impression

Introduction

Earlier, they use to say that “Your First Impression is the last impression” and now, they say that “your first impression is not the last impression but long-lasting impression. Hence, there is a scope to rectify your “first impression” and at times there is also a need to do so. There are times when we think that we have made a mistake…we should not have carried ourselves the way we did and then we look forward to one chance to correct our “first impression”.

In this article, we will be discussing about this and other related issues such as things you should do or should not do to make a “Perfect” first impression; what will you do to change your first impression and will you give one more chance to someone to rectify his / her first impression.

Understanding the term – “First Impression” (FI)

Before talking about “First Impression” (FI), lets discuss, what is “impression” to start with. Though, your looks and appearance is a part of your impression but that is not the only thing, which matters. Your impression means your overall personality and it consists of:

1)     The Way you carry yourself

2)     Your Dress-up

3)     The way you express yourself

4)     Your Mannerism

5)     Your Behavior

6)     Your Communication

7)     The way you treat the other person

These all are the traits which consist of impression and thereby are related to your FI.

For an impression to be called as FI, this must be your first meeting with that person. FI can be of two types – Planned and Unplanned. It is planned, when you are aware of it. For example,

1)     Your job - interview,

2)     Business meeting with client,

3)     Dating, 

4)     You are invited as a guest

FI can be planned, when you are not prepared for it. For example, people looking at you when you are walking down the street; when you are traveling; when you are just passing through a place, you are at a place where people around you hardly matters to you etc.

This first impression process occurs in every new situation. Within the first few seconds, people pass judgment on you – looking for common surface clues. Once the first impression is made, it is virtually irreversible.

The process works like this:

1. If you appear to be of comparable business or social level, you are considered suitable for further interaction.
2. If you appear to be of higher business or social status, you are admired and cultivated as a valuable contact.
3. If you appear to be of lower business or social standing, you are tolerated but kept at arm's length.

If you are in an interview situation, you can either appear to match the corporate culture or not, ultimately affecting the outcome.

For the purpose of this article, we will be concentrating on Planned FI because people making an impression about you, when you are walking down the street, hardly matters to anyone.

Changing your FI

Now, let’s discuss about this. Suppose you are at the receiving end, you met a person and he made certain opinion about you, it can be about your behavior or the way you carry yourself. Or he has read about you or has heard about you and based on that there was already some notion in his mind. You know that you are not what the other person is thinking or assuming about you. Will you make an attempt to correct that impression or assumption?

I asked this question in some of my training programs. I have asked this question to 748 people. I also discussed this with some of my friends. Around 67% of them said, “NO”. They will not make any attempt to change FI. They said that it hardly matter to us. Let anyone carry any impression that they want to carry. 26% said that once they know, what type of impression the other person is carrying, they might make an attempt to change that impression.  7% respondents remain neutral.

Some of the responses are:

Jim Lenahan (Owner, Data Basics International, Inc. / WebSecretaries.com): I do not try to correct someone else's opinion of me. Others' opinions of me do not matter to me.

Mayank Bhargava (Analyst at Infiniti Research): I actually don’t work on changing the opinion a person has about me. Work hard and eventually reality comes in the fore figure.

Steve Aditya (Account Manager at IMS Health):  I think if I see no benefit for me in changing their opinion about me then I'll let it be but if I see future relationship with that person, certainly I'll try to make him change his view. How?
- By building a relationship with him so as time goes by he can see my true personality

-         Using third person (a common friend) to endorse me.

Ajay Prasad (Manager with Global Payments – HSBC): I would definitely not like to influence what the other person perceives me as. Because impression is two communications - one, what I show to others (need to find out what kind of mask we are wearing in front of others and second what kind of mindset or presumption the other person has). If you are a nice human being, you should let the show be a real and original. Masking ourselves and handling situation is always easy but to be real and then facing others is a bit difficult job.

Sheilah Etheridge(Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant): I see no point in trying to change the first impression or the opinion formed as a result of that impression. People will believe what they want to believe. I will continue to be who I am and they will either maintain that opinion or they won't. That is their choice.

Mudassir Ehsan (Business Development Manager at Frost & Sullivan): If I feel, for whatever reason, Mr. X has got an incorrect impression about me, I would not take any immediate steps to rectify that impression....here is what I would think:

A) Why is that I gave a wrong impression about myself to anyone....now that someone has got a wrong impression...that means, I am capable of giving wrong ideas about myself to others? I would firstly work on that...find out why I did whatever happened.

B) As far as rectifying the impression is concerned, well...this certainly depends on who has got a wrong impression about me...is he/she an influential person...do I foresee any kind of opportunities with that person in the future ? Now then...some may argue that anyone in this world is important as they could provide you opportunities...don't shut the doors on anyone....Agreed...but these people are also like opportunities...I take some and leave some....

So my answer is that I will only try rectifying my image to people of immense importance mainly ! The rest would come to know the real-me automatically....in due course of time.

How am I going to rectify my image...well if this person is of so much importance...I might create a situation to interact more with that person and give myself a chance to quickly portray my correct image.

Gerald Lo (Project Manager at Watson Pharmaceuticals):”An inaccurate first impression is, I think, nearly inevitable. Once people get to know me, I believe their impressions and opinions change. It is not something I feel I can change through effort; I believe that respect must be earned over time by action and attitude, not words.

I try to conduct myself with some reserve during my first introductions to others, and presume that others may do the same. As a result, I try to condition my expectations regarding those first impressions, as they may sometimes be illusory. I also do not depend on someone new giving me the benefit of the doubt from our first meeting.

Through coincidence, someone new to us may resemble someone from our pasts. A mannerism or physical likeness might remind us of somebody else altogether. It is human nature, I think, for our brains to associate the new person with that old impression of another one altogether. What might help distinguish us from certain animals may be our ability to reason and try to overcome our more primitive instincts of association.

The circumstances might extenuate an individual's behavior on the occasion of the meeting. I find I am much more receptive to appreciating someone's company and character when we are not meeting under the conditions of an emergency.

I think making an effort to present a respectful and respectable external demeanor is generally a good practice, whether being introduced to a new acquaintance, undergoing an interview, having dinner, or encountering a poisonous reptile. One doesn't need to love it, but it certainly demands respect, in my opinion”.

In my views, I think we are taking things a bit too lightly. It is true that, with so many people around us, it hardly matters what people think about you but if we take it in a positive manner, people will not remember who you are; they will not remember how you look like, but they will always remember how you made them feel like; how you treated them; how you behaved with them. I think it is very important to have a good impression. That is how people will remember you. Hence, though there is a very little possibility that you get “another chance” to rectify your impression but if you get, make a best use of it.

Giving a Chance to Someone to Improve the First Impression

Let’s be fair on this. We all know that your first impression might not be the impression that you want to create. Just, only in this article we also proved that. I asked one more question in my training programs. I have asked this question to 748 people. I also discussed this with some of my friends. We discussed the scenarios that suppose you are the person who is judging another person. You met a person and made certain opinion about him or her. Your assumptions about the person might not be correct. So, will you give that person another chance to rectify that “first-impression”? How easy or difficult will it be for you to change your first impression about that person? Around 34% respondents said that for them the first impression is the final impression and they will go by their gut feeling. 59% respondents said that they will give as many chances as possible to that person to rectify his / her FI. 7% respondents were neutral.

Some of the responses are as follows:

Around 63% of them said, “NO”. They will not make any attempt to change FI. They said that it hardly matter to us. Let anyone carry any impression that they want to carry. 21% said that once they know, what type of impression the other person is carrying, they might make an attempt to change that impression.  

Jim Lenahan (Owner, Data Basics International, Inc. / WebSecretaries.com): I give people plenty of opportunities to prove my first impression right or wrong. Like I said, I'm wiring sometimes -- especially when reaching a conclusion on a paucity of data. It is thus easy for me to change my opinion (not my first impression -- that remains locked in history) due to my large amounts of practice.

Mayank Bhargava (Analyst at Infiniti Research): My personal experience says that people should be given more than one chance to be judged. I don’t say that you might find a gem of a person; however there are certain genuine cases who deserve 2nd chance. On the other hand there are some very smart people who never reveal themselves in the first meeting. In such a case one quick decision can jeopardize our situation.

Steve Aditya (Account Manager at IMS Health):  I personally believe in second chances and I don't judge people by first impression basis. I don't believe in making the right assumption (judge) people that way.

Ajay Prasad (Manager with Global Payments – HSBC): This purely depends on the purpose of interaction. If there is a pre-defined purpose, then I would also be very clear of what I want out of the other person. During interaction I would definitely judge the person against the parameters set by me. But in case I do not find some of those required parameters in him/her, I would rather share those with him/her. As I mentioned earlier perception is a two-way communication, and it does depend on how communicative the other person is. There might be instance where the person has some attributes but does not show in his behavior. In those cases, we are at risk of loosing the right person (only because of perception).

Sheilah Etheridge (Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant): I am fairly on target on the opinion I have of people. I have been proven wrong a couple of times but it is not often. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt and keep an open mind before really forming an opinion. But there are times that I will get an instant dislike for someone (they don't even need to speak). If that happens and I am not sure why I feel that way and nothing has happened to cause me to dislike them there is generally a valid reason I just haven't found yet. To date, I have never instantly disliked someone and then later found I was wrong.

Mudassir Ehsan (Business Development Manager at Frost & Sullivan) : Regarding myself giving others a chance.....well I will always give others a chance to build his correct impression on me. Coz, it is possible that the concerned person was right and my judgement was wrong....hence, I would never shut the doors on assessing anyone until we have interacted enough to know each other.

Kajal (Assistant Branch Manager at Citizens Bank): Yes, I would give more than one chance for a person to change their first impression. It depends on the situation......if you are interviewing someone and he showed up late.....I will first find out what happened and see how well everything else goes. And then, you can decide. Sometimes, you just get this "feel" for a person and I think no matter what that person does it is difficult to change your impression and I think that most of the times this” feel" is almost the right impression of the person.

Lucy Garrick (Principle Consultant at NorthShore Group): “Changing first impressions difficult for anyone. This is because our impressions are a result of a lifetime of memory and inferred meaning processed by the brain in less than a nanosecond. The question is perhaps not how to change first impressions, but how to change the meaning of 1st impressions.

Change begins with noticing that you have a 1st impression, then letting go of the story and judgments about those impressions to be curious and open to other possible conclusions. Another important question is "what is the impact of your first impressions or assumptions about another?

A simple skill to practice and remember is "Say Why, Ask Why"
When you interact with another, tell them the motivation for your interaction. When their response is puzzling to you, test your assumptions about why they are responding as they are. Curiosity will open the door to better relationships and more effective interactions”.

As some people expressed above that though they will be giving chances and opportunities to other people to rectify their first-impression but at the same time they also agreed that with this the other person will only be able to change the opinion and the first-impression will remain unchanged and locked in the memory. Hence, it is very important to go that extra mile and make a knock-out first impression.

Factors one should consider while making first impression

Basic principles to make the BEST “First Impression”

A.     A Winning Smile: “Smile and the world smiles too.” So there’s nothing like a smile to create a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. So smiling is a winner when it comes to great first impressions. But don't go overboard with this - people who take this too far can seem insincere and smarmy, or can be seen to be "lightweights".

B.      A Word about Individuality: The good news is you can usually create a good impression without total conformity or losing your individuality. Yes, to make a good first impression you do need to “fit in” to some degree. But it all goes back to being appropriate for the situation. If in a business setting, wear appropriate business attire. If at a formal evening social event, wear appropriate evening attire. And express your individuality appropriately within that context.

C.     Be on Time: The person you are meeting for the first time is not interested in your “good excuse” for running late. Plan to arrive a few minutes early. And allow flexibility for possible delays in traffic or taking a wrong turn. Arriving early is much better that arriving late, hands down, and is the first step in creating a great first impression.

D.      Be Yourself, Be at Ease: If you are feeling uncomfortable and on edge, this can make the other person ill at ease and that’s a sure way to create the wrong impression. If you are calm and confident, so the other person will feel more at ease, and so have a solid foundation for making that first impression a good one.

E.      Be Open and Confident: When it comes to making the first impression, body language as well as appearance speaks much louder than words. Use your body language to project appropriate confidence and self-assurance. Stand tall, smile (of course), make eye contact, greet with a firm handshake. All of this will help you project confidence and encourage both you and the other person feel better at ease.

Almost everyone gets a little nervous when meeting someone for the first time, which can lead to nervous habits or sweaty palms. By being aware of your nervous habits, you can try to keep them in check. And controlling a nervous jitter or a nervous laugh will give you confidence and help the other person feel at ease.

F.      Be Positive: Your attitude shows through in everything you do. Project a positive attitude, even in the face of criticism or in the case of nervousness. Strive to learn from your meeting and to contribute appropriately, maintaining an upbeat manner and a smile.

G.     Be Courteous and Attentive: It goes without saying that good manners and polite, attentive and courteous behavior help make a good first impression. In fact, anything less can ruin the one chance you have at making that first impression. So be on your best behavior. One modern manner worth mentioning is “turn off your mobile phone”. What first impression will you create if you are already speaking to someone other than the person you are meeting for the first time? Your new acquaintance deserves 100% of your attention. Anything less and you’ll create a less than good first impression.

H.     Present Yourself Appropriately: Of course physical appearance matters. The person you are meeting for the first time does not know you and your appearance is usually the first clue he or she has to go on. But it certainly does not mean you need to look like a model to create a strong and positive first impression. The key to a good impression is to present yourself appropriately.

Start with the way you dress. What is the appropriate dress for the meeting or occasion? For business and social meetings, appropriate dress also varies between countries and cultures, so it’s something that you should pay particular attention to when in an unfamiliar setting or country. Make sure you know the traditions and norms.

Appropriate dressing and grooming help make a good first impression and also help you feel “the part”, and so feel more calm and confident. Add all of this up and you are well on your way to creating a good first impression.

I.       Small Talk Goes a Long Way…: Conversations are based on verbal give and take. It may help you to prepare questions you have for the person you are meeting for the first time beforehand. Or, take a few minutes to learn something about the person you meet for the first time before you get together. For instance, does he play golf? Does she work with a local charitable foundation? Is there anything that you know of that you have in common with the person you are meeting? If so, this can be a great way to open the conversation and to keep it flowing.

Conclusion

There is no doubt that your first impression is very important and most of the time you get only one chance to make that knocking impact. It is also true that usually you do not get another chance to rectify your first impression. However, if you are lucky enough to get another chance, hold that with both hands and make an everlasting impact. Here, there are two types of people…people at your workplace, people in your family and those with whom you meet occasionally, once in a year or so…one should take care of that.

At the end, I only like to say, that it is very important to know the type of person you are going to meet and what type of future you are looking forward, involving that person in your life; so based on that…one should be prepared. This is life and in life, there is no retakes…only one shot.

Looking forward to your comments and feedback

With Love

Sanjeev Himachali

(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ and http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/)

(E-mail: ss_himachali@yahoo.com and sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com)

References

1. Managing First Impressions at Interviews - David Jensen

2.    Making a Great First Impression! - Mind tools

3.    Do You Make Your First Impression Your Best Impression? – Michelle Sterling, Global Image Group

Acknowledgement

I like to say a big and very special thanks to all the below listed people for sharing their views and thoughts. They are:

1. Lucy Garrick (Principle Consultant at NorthShore Group
2. Kajal (Assistant Branch Manager at Citizens Bank)
3. Mudassir Ehsan(Business Development Manager at Frost & Sullivan
4. Sheilah Etheridge (Owner, SME Management: Management and Accounting Consultant)
5. Ajay Prasad (Manager with Global Payments – HSBC)
6. Steve Aditya (Account Manager at IMS Health)
7. Mayank Bhargava (Analyst at Infiniti Research)
8. Jim Lenahan (Owner, Data Basics International, Inc. / WebSecretaries.com)
9. Gerald Lo (Project Manager at Watson Pharmaceuticals)

Once Upon a Time … (Yeh Un Dino ki Baat Hai)

Introduction

We all have gone through this phase of life. There are many people who just give-up and there are some, who just continue. It is like shooting-in-the-dark. Here, I am talking about the time-period between the “completion of basic professional education” and “your first break…your first job”. That is the time when

You keep applying for job, every day, and every moment

You keep on attending interviews, just to get rejected

All that you want is “Just one Chance”. I have seen candidates, who say, “Give us work, we will work free, without any salary”.

It has been more than eight years since I passed through those ways. I don’t want to remember those days and when someone refers to those moments, it brings tears in my eyes. Although, what I have gone through is nothing new, it didn’t happened for first time. I am not the only one to have faced that part of life and I am sure that I am also not the last person to have gone through that phase. It is actually a test of your character and determination. It is just the token amount that you pay to begin the chase of your dream.

I don’t wish to remember those moments but something happened in last week and that just refreshed all those painful memories. Hence, I thought of sharing with you.

Background

Unlike the India that we are seeing today, in those days there were no ITES Industries, NO BPO’s, Call Center or Contact Centers. To get a job in the corporate world, the minimum expected qualification was Graduation. And in this part of the world…one should have strong recommendation or backing to get a job. In those days, I was a young lad of 22 years of age, with Post Graduation in Business Administration specializing in Human Resource Management and Development; brought-up in conservative and over-protected family. Let me share, what I had; what I missed and what I was looking for.

What I had

1. Education
2. Knowledge
3. Intelligence
4. Lots of Energy
5. Never-say-Die Attitude

What I missed

1. God Father to Hold my Hand
2. Network
3. Financial Status was not so good
4. Non-Tech Savvy Family (We didn’t had phone at home or mobile phone; even browsing internet was costly).

What I was looking for

1. Just One Chance
2. A decent job with a decent salary

The Beginning

I didn’t graduate from a premier business school. There was no assistance in “Job Placements”. So, after the completion of MBA, I started my job search. I approached my relatives, my family-friends and to my known for guidance and assistance but none was interested to help. People turned cold shoulder towards me. I kept on applying for jobs, sending my resumes through post or drop-in the reception of companies. There was no response. Every morning I use to begin with new energy, confidence and enthusiasm and every evening I use to return, all frustrated, broken, rejected and dejected. In the evening, after reaching home the first thing that my ears use to hear was, “Did you get any Job?” I was loosing my confidence. My motivation level was coming down. I use to consider my self as unwanted. But, I never lost HOPE and kept on trying; Day after day; Month after Month. I use to think that probably “Tomorrow will be better”. The atmosphere in the house was enough to sum up the mood of the family. There use to be verbal duals and fights almost everyday. Sadness was visible on the faces of family members. This continued for four months and then one day I left my house.

Unknown territory

Once I left the house, I was not sure, where I will be going. What I am going to do? How long will I be able to survive? Will I be able to live? I knew that the things will not be rosy but I took the biggest step of my life. I was on the road where there was only one way traffic. No U turns. I moved to one of the metro cities and took shelter in one DIRTIEST hostel. The purpose was to start fresh, to make a new beginning. Again I started applying for jobs. Sometimes I use to walk for miles (10-15 miles) to attend an interview. “Hunger” is the worst enemy. I didn’t had enough money and I didn’t knew, how long will I carry on like this. I use to live on water. On some days, I used to take tea; but, usually survived on water. When it was difficult to satisfy the hunger of my tummy, I used to go to the hostel mess and eat the left-over food…food thrown by others.

The pain was unbearable. I lost all my hope and confidence. Thoughts, such as committing suicide or selling my kidney, did passed through my head but something kept me moving. Even today, I don’t know what that was. After a struggle of three months I got my first break - A job with a salary of rupees three thousand and two hundred. On that day, I had good food at a nice restaurant.

Just Memory

It has been seven and a-half years, since then. Today, I am working in a good company at a good position. I am known to people. I have good network. Today, I have love of people, respect and also admiration. It is not an end of the struggle of my life but now it is different type of struggle. As I said earlier, I am not the only one to have gone through all this. I am not the first one to have gone through this. I am also not the last person to have gone through this. This certainly was one of the toughest times of my life. I just thought of sharing few moments of that phase with you.

At the end, I only like to say that, “It is easy to give-up but it is very difficult to continue”.

You have a great day and take care.

With Love

Sanjeev Sharma

(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ or http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/)

(E-mail: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com; ss_himachali@yahoo.com)

Professional Life - Cycle: Different Phases of Your Professional Life...

Introduction

Broadly speaking, our life can be divided into two parts:

1)       Personal, Private or Family Life and

2)       Career or Professional Life

Each of the above two can be further divided into different stages. The various stages of Private Life are: Infant, Child, Adolescent, and Adult (Husband / Wife), Parents, Feeder / Earner / Developer and Counselor / Guide / Mentor. Similarly, in a professional life, the different stages that we can have are: Trainee (Learner); 1st Level Executer; 1st Level Administrator / Organizer (Team Leader); Manager; Strategist; Chief Executor (CEO); Chief Administrator (CAO or COO); Corporate / Industry/ Business Leader; Coach; Mentor. In both the situations, it is very difficult to move from one stage (or role) to another; one needs to be mentally, emotionally and psychologically prepared for it. It is only due to the insecurity of an individual, his or her inefficiency to move to another role that we usually see people in the role of Patriarch and BOSS.

For the purpose of this article, we will be concentrating only on the different stages of Professional Life.

Different Stages of Your Professional Life

1)       Trainee (Learner): This is the beginning of your career. Usually it comprises 2-3 years. During this phase, the individual learns about the expectations of his profession and expected corporate behavior. You learn about the practical aspects and implementation processes of the theory that you have learned in your graduation, post-graduations and during your management studies. This phase also gives you an opportunity to select the “Domain” within your profession that you want to “specialize in”/ Grow/ and become expert in.

2)       1st Level Executer: To some extant this phase might overlap with your previous phase. In this phase, you get inputs from different sections and you are asked to implement that process and then follow-up. It is like this, your reporting manager or your department head has initiated some policy or process and it is your responsibility to make sure that the policy and process is followed by everyone. You need to follow-up with the people on the floor or at the bottom end. You are also expected to “teach the employees” and make them aware about the processes and procedures, its purpose, impact, regards and punishment. During this phase you need to work very closely with your Reporting Manager and take his inputs and at the same time need to make your own identity. You need to take your decisions through your Reporting Manager. Here, you are process owner. Based on your efficiency, willingness to learn and grow, this phase might last for 2-3 years.

3)       1st Level Administrator / Organizer (Team Leader): Now, that you know the practical aspects of your profession, you have selected a domain with in your selected profession that you like to master and specialize in; you know the nitty-gritty of your domain…now its time to take bigger responsibilities and accountabilities; now, its time to take responsibility of a small team, small but solo and independent assignments and projects. In this phase you get accustomed to resource management. You get to know as how to run the show on your own.

4)       Manager: In this phase, the area and scope of your work increases. You become accountable of 2-3 different but bigger projects / assignments. You are expected to manage following things: People Management (and Development); Infrastructure / Resource Management; Cash Management; Revenue and Profitability Management; and Statutory Compliance. Usually, a person stays in this role for 7-10 years.

5)       Strategist: Now, you have lots of experience, knowledge and expertise. At this stage, you need to be a great planner, goal setter, creative, developer and innovative. Its time for you to align your domain with the core business. You need to smoothen the functioning of your domain. In this role, you work as a catalyst and as a facilitator. This is not a field job. Most of the time, people around you might not be able to understand, as what you are doing. This role expects a lot of mental strength, expertise of domain and understanding of the functioning of different industries.

6)       Chief Executor (CEO): Just like the way we discussed the role of 1st Level Executor (who is a process owner); the role of Chief Executor is to execute the policies, process, strategies formulated and approved by the “Board of Directors”. He is the person who makes the “Corporate Culture” and “Workplace Ethics” for the organization. He is accountable for “workplace practices” that are practiced in the organization.

7)       Chief Administrator (CAO or COO): You understand the basics of business; nitty-gritty of the business; people management; Cash, Revenue and profitability management, now its time to handle that at corporate level. As a chief administrator, you are accountable for one particular SBU or vertical or nation (if your company is very huge with millions of people, spread over N number of nations. It is your responsibility to generate revenues and profits. It is for you to plan Business Model for your Business and break-through for the success of your business.

8)       Corporate / Industry/ Business/ Domain Leader: Now, its time to take a bigger leap. You have done enough for your team, your department, your domain, your company and your vertical / strategic unit. From now onwards whatever you do, will affect the Industry as a whole. You will be a trend setter in your profession / domain. You will be a LEADER.

9)       Coach: Now, that you have gained lots of experience and knowledge and you are at that stage of your life, where you need to create many more people like you. Its time to pass your knowledge and experience to youngsters and create more people, Managers and leaders like you. Here, your role is to develop and groom young talent. You are a catalyst.

10)     Mentor: Last, but not the least, after spending 40-45 years in an active “professional Life” now, its time to take a back seat and let the youngsters grow. Now, your role is that of a torch-bearer; guide; light-house; and pole-star. You are in a position where you can develop life of youngsters.

So, that’s in short is the professional life-span of any individual, irrespective to selected profession and domain. It spans from a trainee to mentor.

Conclusion

In order to move from one phase of your profession to another phase, one needs to be mentally and psychologically prepared. One need to know when is the time to move to another level. This also shows that irrespective of your profession HR, Marketing, Technical or Finance…one is capable of being and should be in all the phases of profession. It is only then when we are not confident about our abilities, or we are so comfortable with our present role and position that we don’t want to move out of that zone…that we behave like a BOSS. Bossism is nothing but forcing your views or ideas ONLY on your SUBORDINATES. They have NO SCOPE to Grow and Learn. Learn, grow and blossom in your profession. Life is short and sky is the limit.

Now, you are in which phase of your professional life???

Life is wonderful, if you believe that.

This world is beautiful, if you feel that.

Looking forward to your views and feedback

Regards

Sanjeev Himachali

(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/ or http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ )

(E-mail: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com; ss_himachali@yahoo.com)

Measuring Your Personal Growth

Introduction

It was one of the Sundays and as usual, many thoughts were passing through my head and suddenly my thought process got stuck at one point and made me to think and re-think as how one can or how one should measure his or her personal growth?

1)     Your success in exams is measured by the marks that you score (your percentile).

2)     Your success in business is measured by revenues and profits that you earn.

3)     The versatility of your business is measured by your expansion plans, both in terms of geographical expansion as well as venture into new industries.

4)     Experience is usually measured in number of years.

5)     Your height, your weight, your age…everything can be measured.

So, how can you measure your “Personal Growth”?

Things that you do

To understand and measure your personal growth, lets first list out and understand various activities that we do in our life. Once we understand that, it will help us in setting the measuring parameters and/or selecting the measurement scale. There is no second doubt in my mind that when we talk about “Growth”, it needs to be objective and not subjective. It should be measured.

As an individual, whatever you do, can easily be classified into two parts:

1) Professional

2) Private

As a child or a teenager we do certain things which either help us in our profession (give directions to our professional life) or make our private life, more satisfactory.

1)     Professional Life: Basic Education, Professional Education, Salaries (Wealth), Promotions (Role, Power to take Decisions, Span of Control etc), Training and Development (Workshops and Seminars), your popularity (and demand) and Professional Network.

2)     Private Life: Relations with family (Parents, Siblings, Relatives) and friends, Marriage (Success, Happiness and longevity of your married life), House and other comforts, Health, Children (Birth, Growth, Grooming and Values of your children), Love, Care and SATISFACTION.

(Note: Care has been taken to include everything that an individual should have or like to have in this life. However, this list is inclusive and not exclusive.)

Let’s Analyze and Measure

Well, the “Professional Front” of your life can be measured by following factors:

1)     Number of professional degrees that you have.

2)     Institutes that you have studied in (To study in good institutes, you should not only be intelligent and knowledgeable but should also have enough money to take care of expenses of your studies).

3)     In Case, you are a salaried employee then what is your salary and how much increments you get every year. In case, you have your own business, then your profits and wealth.

4)     The Position and Designation that you hold. In short, it is your ability to take and influence decisions that matters.

5)     Your demand and popularity in your profession and industry, is another criteria to measure “Professional Front” of your life.

All these factors are part of your “Personal Growth” and all are measurable.

 Now, let’s calculate your “growth” in “Private Life”. It is not possible to be successful at “Professional Front” without “sacrificing” and making adjustments in your “Private Life”. However, what you have sacrificed and how you have set the balance in relations determines and measures your success in “Private Front”.

Following are the factors that can be measured and calculated:

1)     Longevity and happiness of your married life

2)     Amount you spent on your medicines

3)     Value-system, education and success of your children (Believe it or not, but if your children are good citizens of your country; if they are doing well in academics; if they are successful in life…that reflects in your success).

4)     It is not possible to keep everyone happy, one need to identify (in fact, choose) people that they want to keep happy and then go all out to ensure their happiness. Hence, your success is measured on the choices that you make your judgment and setting priorities.

Though, there can be a slight difference, but all these factors can be measured and evaluated. As I said earlier, to measure your growth, you need to have a base. Measuring growth, starts from past and ends with present. Your dreams and goals, starts from your present and ends, somewhere in your future.

Discussion Table - Brainstorming

I asked several people from different countries, age groups and of both genders as what do they actually understand by “Personal Growth” and how, they think that one should measure the personal growth. Due to space constraint, it is not possible for me to include all responses, but instead, I have taken a sample size.

According to Marc Aniballi (Managing Director, Crack Method, Canada), your criteria to measure your personal growth changes with time and entirely based on the phase of life, you are passing through.
A baby measures their growth in inches;
A youth measures their growth by their peers;
A young person measures their growth against their parents;
An adult measures their growth against the world around them;
A mature adult measures their growth against themselves;
An elder measures their growth against ideals;

Maria Sheila Riikonen (Business Intelligence Consultants, Finland), gave a philosophical touch to her answer and said that the path to personal and professional success is seldom smooth sailing, so it's important to have a strong sense of self wherever the road leads you. I always like to recall my favorite mantra from American Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) :

“To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition,
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.”

In the words of Mukund Toro (Director Engineering, Sasken, Bangalore, India), one cannot generalize parameters to measure personal growth and it all varies and differs from person to person and to an large extent, depends on the background of an individual. He said, “I find it difficult to answer your question. I think it depends upon the individual; Depends on his or her needs, aspirations, obligations and duties. I guess it depends upon what is central to your life. You could look at Steven Covey's habit two (2) regarding what are the various centers of life. I have found myself struggling between various ways of defining success. Sometimes it is career, sometimes finances, sometimes doing something for others etc. To quote (not verbatim) Dr. E S Srinivas of XLRI, some questions may never have clear answers. What is important is to raise these questions.”

Dinky (Denise) Durso (Business Development, Manager, Alliant Credit Union, Greater Chicago Area), is also of the similar opinion and says that the criteria to measure personal growth, varies from individual to individual and is largely influced by the personal convictions, ideology and principles. He says, “While I can appreciate the basis for your question, I have difficulty aligning my beliefs and values within the confines of your question and answer terms. Growth and success does not have to be measured, even within the terms you put forward; years, total revenue or total wealth (income) during the year. Rather growth and success have more to do with immeasurable personal wealth - (ideals, convictions, ethics) and personal successes, such as independence, work/life balance, personal growth, and income (which is measurable from one year to another - but not true measure within ones experiences.)

I measure my growth with how engaged I am, how much support I receive from my manager/director, how successful I am within my business and personal relationships and goals, how much balance I have between my business and personal lives and how many relationships I have within all aspects of my life. I am sure I am missing something important within this answer; but the main point is ~ money or your bank accounts cannot measure your growth, satisfaction or success only your feelings, relationships and heart can measure your personal success.”

Jay Sison (General Manager, 1 & 1 Internet, Philippines) is of the opinion that in order to measure your “personal growth” one must clearly define his goals along with a time frame to achieve those goals. The views are expressed in the following manner, “The beauty of this question is that only the person alone can answer it and he/she can set the baseline and timeline. One just has to outline the desired goal that can be quantified objectively and subjectively. Once defined, then you can set out the timeline by which you want to accomplish and how aggressive one would like to accomplish. I would recommend short, medium and long term. So measurement is all up to the person's standards. The keyword in your question is "personal". "Growth" and "success" is relative to the person”.

In the words of Gary Sieling (Software Engineer at Thomson West, Rochester, New York Area), growth measurement differs from time-to-time and also based on the phases in life. A person is a complex entity and there are so many things (activities) that are involved in his life. One cannot measure those entire things with one measure scale. To measure everything, that is involved in an individual’s life, one need to use different scales. The thoughts are expressed as, “What I consider growth changes over time. Sometimes there are new things I want to learn or do, but sometimes you your perspectives totally change, e.g. after having a health crisis. You can set up metrics for those things - just not numeric measurements like you want. E.g. if you want to grow a relationship, you can say "I keep up with them at least once a quarter on average" or "I'd like to have a friend who I can talk to about personal issues." Those are just goals, and as long as you are achieving goals you are growing. Be careful about using a single measurement- tracking your progress over time is generally informative, but if you use it as a decision-making tool, there are unintended consequences (e.g. sacrificing health or happiness for more income). Unhappiness and lack of freedom are indicators of needed growth”.

However, Bjorn Martinoff (Managing Consultant USA/Global at IL International human Capital Solutions, California), wants to make a clarification and says that there is a difference between growth and satisfaction of doing something. He continues, “Many people confuse/collapse growth with success or growth and the results of growth meaning income or reaching goals. Never, ever confuse these two as they are so different. I can reach goals without personal growth, i.e. I could win the lottery, however no growth is needed for this or I could run into an inheritance, not much luck needed there either. So Money can be excluded as a reliable measure of growth. Money however is often, not always, a result of growth. To me the measures of growth and success are the level of freedom and happiness I experience in my life”.

Conclusion

Everything that can be measured can also be managed. Based on what you want to measure, there are different scales of measurement. Your Bank Balance (Your Assets and Wealth), Time, Education Level, Future and success of your children, your position in the society and the way people perceive you (respect and admiration) that you have earned…these are some of the scales and criteria’s to measure your growth in “Personal” life.

If you want to “manage your life”; you should also know how to measure it.

Keep learning. Keep Growing. Keep smiling.

Do share your views.

With Love

Sanjeev Himachali

(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/ and http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/)

(Email: sanjeev.himachali@gmail.com and ss_himachali@yahoo.com)

Your Professional Growth and Type of Blocks in Career Path. Which Block are you?

Introduction

Though I belong to northern part of India but in my professional life, for maximum number of years I have worked in southern and western parts of the country. It is only now, since 2005 that I shifted my base to northern India . Sometimes, people ask me the difference that I noticed in terms of work-culture, workplace environment and practices in northern and other parts of the country, during my professional journey. Usually my reply to those queries is: “People in western and southern parts of India compete for success and growth. They have constructive and positive approach. They value their and other’s time. Where as, in northern parts of India , people love to grow at the cost of others…by harming others. They have political mindset. They have destructive mindsets.

In western and southern India , the attitude is, “Lets grow together. You don’t harm me and I will not harm you; you have your own strengths and I have mine, we will grow together”. But in other part of the country, people want to be in lime-light. The philosophy is, “Only, I will grow. You, either perish or live in my shadow”.” This is the general attitude, perception and behavior of people. However, exceptions are always there.

Growing together – The Importance of Team Work

How good are you, when it comes to team-work? Do you understand the importance and synergy of team-work? To my knowledge, “We Indians” are very bad players of team-work. Each member of the team wants to hog the lime-light, wants to take the credit for the “Success” of the team and “Love to Blame” his team-member for the failure of his team. Be it any team; as small as a team of two members or as big as a team of fifteen members, we have always failed as a team. Hard to digest but this is a fact. Some of the factors our failures as a team are:

1)     Personal Ego (Larger than life ego)

2)     Its only “me” and no one else

3)     Lack of knowledge (Subject Matter Expertise), Confidence and Self-Belief gives rise to self-doubt and “insecurity”.

4)     They love to “Demand Respect” rather than earning respect.

When you have ego, arrogance and insecurity, you tend to block others’ success. You tend to harm them. You tend to play “Political Games” with your own team-members.

Team-work in Corporate World

Now, let me narrow my write-up to “Team-work in Corporate World” and “Team-work within a department”. You cannot do all the work that is expected from you and hence, there is a need of a team. “Delegating your Work”; Outsourcing; Vendor Management is nothing but steps towards “Team Work”. We talk about man-hours and man-hands. For example, I as an individual is capable of doing X work in seven days but along with my team of three people, I should be able to complete the task in three days.

But it’s not me who has done that work in three days; it’s my TEAM. Many times, knowingly or unknowingly we harm our own team. In the process of showing others “my control over my team”, people hurt the team, insult the team and thereby affect the morale and sprit of the team. There is a saying, “Don’t kill the hen laying golden eggs”; but some people divide the team because they feel insecure. They divide the team. They back-stab their own team members; they gossip about one member to another and they insult their team-members in front of others. They do all this because, they don’t have subject matter expertise, and they are not sure about their position. They don’t have self-confidence and self-belief. They feel that the only way that they can survive is by using the old tactic of British India , “Divide and Rule”. Just like the British rulers of that time, these team-leaders and team-managers are aware that “if I let these people unite, I will not be able to survive. A very bad tactic, isn’t it??

Role of Team-Leader / Team Manager

There is a saying in Hindi, “Yatha Raja, Tatha Praja” (As the king, so the people). Hence, the Team-Leader or a Team Manager have very important role to play in “Team Development and Management”. As is understood that to be a Team-Leader or a Team Manager one should have at least one person to supervise and manage. Team Leader should have confidence in his own abilities, knowledge and skills. If he does not have enough confidence in himself, I will doubt his abilities and skills to boost the confidence and morale of his team. To be honest and fair and based on my personal experiences, I do feel that 90% of managers have sense of insecurity from their subordinate. They feel that their subordinates will grow faster. They feel that their position is not secured. They have very low Emotional Quotient. Hence they try “to block” block the pace of growth of their juniors / subordinates. Here are some blocks that Managers / Team Leaders put on the way of their subordinates growth:

Dam – When you construct a dam on a river, it does not stop the growth of the river; rather it generates electricity, helps farmers in irrigation and control floods. Similar is the role of this block in your profession. He guides you. He mentors you. He grooms you. He sharpens your skill. He helps you to grow. He is a catalyst. He knows that he is big enough for you to harm him in any manner. It’s like an executive reporting to a President. This is a positive hurdle.

Hurdle on the road (Rock, big & heavy stone) – Imagine a situation when you are traveling to some place and happen to face this hurdle on the road. What will you do? Either you will remove the hurdle or you will just pass by its side. Another example that I have is roundabouts in Chandigarh . You can not drive over them but need to drive around them to move on other side of the road. In a similar manner, there are blocks in your professional life and you can grow only by ignoring and avoiding them. They feel that they have put, big enough hurdle on the path of your career to slow-down you and/or stop you. It might take some time to over come this hurdle but this is not permanent. This is arrogant / egoistic but temporary hurdle.

Wall under-construction – This is a positive hurdle that you can face in your life. As you grow, the other also grows. He is intelligent and knowledgeable. He is willing to learn all the time. He is a person with high-self esteem. He has high expectations from himself and also from people around him. He is not afraid by the growth of his subordinates. He does not harm the growth of his subordinates. He does not sabotage their growth. The more his subordinate grows, the higher he increases his own level and his competencies.  

Closed Door – This is a negative block. Whatever you do, you will face rejection. Things will just bounce on you. This person is afraid of your success and pace of your growth. When in open and competitive market, he feels insecure. He feels comfortable and secured when he is in closed room and that is why he keep the doors closed. If you want to grow in the presence of such superior / boss, you should either be pleading him or buttering him (making him comfortable) or requesting him or you should wait for the right opportunity. (You should look for the ventilator to enter in).  

Conclusion

If you want to draw a line, longer than the one which is already drawn, the best way and constructive way to do that is to draw a new line, parallel to existing line and longer than that. Same way, the best way to grow in professional life is to always keep yourself updated with the latest in your domain; to sharpen your skills; to have dreams and to have confidence in yourself. You cannot grow by suppressing someone lower to you. Even if you manage to grow in this fashion, you will not be able to sustain that growth. Be honest to yourself and to your team-members. Don’t lie to them. Share the credit. Most importantly, “Learn to Work in a Team”. Talent Acquisition is Important but Talent Management is Equally Important.

Gone are the days when people use to “butter” their bosses and use to say, “YES Sir” for every order / instruction of their bosses. This is the era of competition. You want to grow then come compete with people.

That’s an end of the write-up. Do share your views and comments.

With Love

Sanjeev Himachali

(BLOG: http://sanjeevhimachali.multiply.com/ or http://sanjeevhimachali.blogspot.com/)